Crack for your entertainment
by grammarphail93
Summary: Did this little thing while trapped in writer's block for another story. Not serious or thought provoking in any way


**AN: This is in apology for being so slow with _Faith in Humanity_. I've hit some major writer's block, but hopefully I've gotten past it enough for a new chapter sometime this week. **

**Pick 10 characters and answer the questions below. You can pick any characters you like, both boys and girls!**

**1. Canada - Matthew**

**2. England - Arthur**

**3. America - Alfred**

**4. France - Francis**

**5. Hungary - Elizaveta**

**6. N. Italy - Feliciano**

**7. Germany - Ludwig**

**8. Spain - Antonio**

**9. Romano - Lovino**

**10. Sealand - Peter**

* * *

1 (Canada) woke you up in the middle of the night  
Me: I would actually be okay with this. *Huggles Canada*  
Canada: Help me?

Me: Silly Mattie, no one else remembers who you are! ^.^

Canada: Maple…

* * *

2 (England) asked you to go out with him/her?  
Me: SQUEEEEEEEEEE! YES OF COURSE, ARTHUR! *flings herself at the helpless brit*

England: *blushes* Bloody Americans, why are you all so damned loud?

* * *

3 (America) walked into the bathroom while you're showering?  
Me: WHAT THE HECK, ALFRED? GET OUT! *chucks full shampoo bottle at him*  
America: OUCH! I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry! (That's the last time I believe Francis when he says the bathroom is free…)

* * *

4 (France) announced he's/she's going to marry 9 (Romano) tomorrow?  
France: Onhonhon! It's about time!

Spain: Lovi…why? Didn't boss take care of you?

Romano: SAVE ME YOU DAMN TOMATO B*****D

* * *

5 (Hungary) cooked you dinner?  
Me: Uhh…did you happen to use your favorite frying pan? *holds up yellow feather*  
Hungary: Yes, why do you ask…OH NO I CLIPPED GILBIRD AGAIN!

Me: Won't Gilbert be mad?

Hungary: Why would I care about that? I just don't like it when that poor innocent bird gets hurt.

Me: o.O;

* * *

6 (N. Italy) was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping?  
Dawww…. He looks so cute sleeping there like that. Better take some pictures for later. Maybe I could sell them; I'm sure Ludwig would like a copy. XD

* * *

7 (Germany) suddenly confessed to be part of your family?  
Hmmm….Well I knew we were part German, but I didn't know it was quite that literal. (Historically, my family is actually from Prussia, so what does that make Ludwig?)

* * *

8 (Spain) got into the hospital somehow?  
Someone should really talk to Lovino about his anger issues. I don't think Antonio can handle the medical bills for much longer.

* * *

9 (Romano) made fun of your friends?  
Isn't that his way of showing affection? Quite frankly, I'd be more concerned if he wasn't making fun of them.

* * *

Number 10 (Sealand) gives you a bagel. Do you eat it?  
Yeah, probably. Unless he got it from his "jerk brother England".

* * *

1 (Canada) offers you a CD. Considering his/her tastes, do you listen to it?

Yes. Me and Mattie seem to be pretty similar people. Besides, it can't be any worse than some of the stuff coming out of America's music industry lately.

America: HEY!

* * *

2 (England) suddenly goes emo. How does 8 (Spain) feel about this?  
Well…he saw Iggy's pirate phase, so it's not like he hasn't seen worse, but he would probably try to cheer him up anyway. Antonio's pretty happy-go-lucky and I bet he likes other people to be so too.

* * *

10 (Sealand) wants money and decides to get a job at Chuck E' Cheeses. How long does he/she stay?  
They fire him on the first day for blowing his tips on the games when he's supposed to be working.

* * *

3 (America) told 6 (N. Italy) he/she started his/her period.

America: DUDE! I don't think I'm supposed to be bleeding down there!

Italy: Ve~? Oh don't worry! Miss Hungary explained it all to me when I lived with her (when they thought he was still a girl).

*Feli proceeds to tell Alfred about the birds and the bees when Arthur walks by*

England: AMERICA! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

America: It's all cool, bro. Italy here explained it to me.

*Arthur then rushes Alfred to the hospital and calmly explains why it is a bad thing for a male to bleed there, but it's okay for girls*

* * *

4 (France) slaps 9 (Romano) with a fish for going out with 7 (Germany).  
France: How dare you do this to Feli? Big brother France is ashamed that you would get in the way of true love. *stashes pictures from the first half of the date*

* * *

5 (Hungary) Comes up to you wearing a big pink dress. What's your reaction?  
I would tell her that it was a beautiful color and ask her who she was trying to impress, Gilbert or Roderick. She would then hit me with her frying pan and I would cry.

* * *

6 (N. Italy) cusses 2 (England) out in German. 3 (Alfred) is secretly watching from behind a bush. What does he/she do?  
Jump out and rescue his Iggy from the mean Italian. Because he's a HERO, and rescuing people is what HEROES do.

* * *

7 (Germany) got high.  
Dear lord. Hide Feli and all the weapons and for goodness' sake, keep him away from his brother. A high Gilbert is the last thing we need.

Prussia: WAY TO GO WEST! Kesesesesese!

* * *

9 (Romano) can't stand 1 (Canada), so how does he/she get his/her revenge when he/she spills soda all over him/her?  
Goes to his house, knocks on the door, and pulls out his top secret MOUSTACHE!

Matthew stands there blinking in confusion until Lovino runs screaming from a curious Kumatama.

* * *

10 (Sealand) starts working at a bar.  
Is he even old enough to drink?

* * *

1 (Canada) comes in and tells you he's/she's pregnant from 2(England).  
How…What….When…? I thought Artie was dating me?

* * *

1 (Canada) breaks up with you. For what reason did he/she break up with you?  
He knew I would age and he wouldn't. He is trying to be kind cuz he's sweet like that.

* * *

2 (England) is in love with 4 (France), he/she confesses. How does 4 respond?  
France: FINALLY! I always knew you could not resist my charm mon lapin.

* * *

3 (America) is a drug addict. What do you do?  
Check him into rehab and be supportive, of course. I want to take care of my country.

* * *

4 (France) kisses 8 (Spain) what's your reaction?  
Meh, Antonio's probably used to it by now.

* * *

6 (N. Italy) kisses your boyfriend. What do you do?  
I would yell and scream at him, but then he'd cry and Ludwig would be mad and that's more trouble than it's worth, honestly.

* * *

7 (Ludwig) is missing .where do you go to look for him/her?  
Did anyone check outside? He's probably out on some jogging, training, exercising thingy.

* * *

8 (Spain) needs a tutor. On what subject does he/she need tutoring?  
"The Complete Idiot's Guide to Henchmen: How to Deal With An Irate Italian"

* * *

9 (Romano) wants to be a cheerleader. What do you say?  
You sure about that? Maybe you should go show Antonio the uniform and let him help you decide. (teehee)

* * *

10 (Sealand) hates you, why?  
I like jerk England. Enough said.

* * *

1 (Canada) gives you a teddy bear. Why?  
He's sweet and wanted me to have my own Kumawatsit.

* * *

2 (England) and 6 (N. Italy) are fighting. What do you do?  
Go get Germany before Iggy makes Feli cry. Really England, I thought you'd learn by now that no one messes with Italy when Germany's not around.

* * *

10 (Sealand) ignored you all the time?  
Why do I care? He's not even a country yet.

* * *

Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will 1 (Canada) do?  
Hmm… I can see this going one of two ways.

1: Canada uses his awesome powers of invisibility to hide us.

-OR-

2: Mattie decides he's tired of everyone assuming he's an easy target.

Snapped Canada + Hockey Stick = Cherry Syrup + No More Killers

* * *

You're on a vacation with number 2 (England) and manage to break your leg. What does 2 do?  
Summons Britannia Angel and uses his magic to fix it. If that fails, he could always get the unicorn to take us to the other fairies for help.

* * *

It's your birthday. What will 3 (America) give you?  
America: A surprise party with fireworks, a huge-ass rainbow cake, and the best hamburgers she's ever had in her life.

England: That's what you'd want you selfish git!

America: But that's only 'cause it's awesome! Besides, who wouldn't want a huge party on their birthday?

Me: Umm… Guys?

England: Did you even ask her first?  
America: Well, no…. but it had to be a surprise!

Me: Guys?

England: See? You didn't even think about what she'd want!

Me: YO! IGGY!

England: WHAT?

Me: I actually really like it…

England: Oh…well then…

America: Told ya so.

* * *

You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does 4 (France) do?  
Get us out. He may be a perv, but I believe he can come through when it counts.

* * *

You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed. What will 5 (Hungary) do?  
Threaten to beat anyone that laughs with her frying pan.

* * *

You're about to marry number 10 (Sealand). What's 6 (N. Italy)'s reaction?  
Italy: Ve~ I'm so happy for you two! Can I make pasta for the dinner?

* * *

You got dumped by someone. How will 7 (Germany) cheer you up?  
Honestly, his awkward attempts at cheering me up would probably cheer me up. If that fails, he could always send Feliciano over to make me feel better while he beats up the jerk who dumped me.

* * *

You're angry about it afterwards, how does 8 (Spain) calm you down?  
By providing moral support. I feel like he's the kind of guy who would let me vent and then give me a hug to make me feel better.

* * *

You compete in some tournament. How does 9 (Romano) support you?  
Romano: Come on Diane! You can do better than that! Even you have to be smarter than this guy!

Me: Um…Thanks? I think…..

* * *

You can't stop laughing. What will 10 (Seland) do?  
Laugh with me. We were probably laughing at either anime or England together, so…..

* * *

Number 1 (Canada) is all you've ever dreamed of. Why?  
Me: Where to start? He's sweet, kind, polite, courteous, listens well, is patient, likes snow almost more than I do, makes great pancakes, knows his way around a hockey rink…

Mattie: Wow, I didn't know you paid that much attention. *blushes*

Me: …has gorgeous hair, a cute pet, can protect me, is loyal, not to mention super cute. I could go on, but it'd get boring.

Mattie: W-would you like to hang out sometime? *still blushing*

Me: OF COURSE! *glomp*

* * *

2 (England) tells you about his/her deeply hidden love for number 9 (Romano). Your reaction?  
…You're drunk again, aren't you?

* * *

You're dating number 3 (America) and introduce him/her to your parents. Will they get along?  
Probably, so long as he watches his mouth and isn't too disrespectful. They might think he's a little odd, but nice. My sisters would love him.

* * *

Number 4 (France) loves number 9(Romano) as well. What does that mean?  
Everything's normal and balance has been preserved. France "loves" anything with a heartbeat.

* * *

Will number 5 (Hungary) and 6 (N. Italy) ever kiss?  
In an affectionate, brother-sister kind of way, sure.

* * *

6 (N. Italy) appears to be a player, he/she breaks many hearts. What do you do?

Carefully explain to him that there is such a thing as flirting too much. He probably isn't doing it on purpose, sweet little guy.

* * *

You had a haircut and 7 (Germany) can't stop looking at you. What goes on in your mind?  
I'm probably wondering if there is something wrong or out of place with it.

* * *

Number 8 (Spain) thinks he'll/she'll never get a boyfriend. What will you tell him/her?  
To be patient, and maybe be extra nice to Lovino. They'll come around eventually.

* * *

3 (America) ate 7 (Germany). What's your reaction?  
Me: NO! BAD ALFY! SPIT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW!

Alfred: *bleh* okay.

* * *

4 (France) died. How?  
He tried to molest someone, again, and someone else got jealous/overprotective, again.

* * *

5 (Hungary) turns invisible. What does he/she do to you?  
Sells me photos of the Hetalia boys that she's managed to get with her new powers. The two of us and Japan proceed to fangirl and decide how we can take advantage of this.

* * *

6 (N. Italy) loses memory. You have to give him/her a new memory. What do you say to him?  
You are Italy, also known as Feliciano Vargas, and you have a best friend named Japan and a special someone named Germany who needs a little nudge in the right direction. You also love pasta and occasionally wearing a cute green dress, servant outfit thing while cleaning Germany's house, where you spend a lot of time. The southern half of your country is your brother Romano, or Lovino.

* * *

7 (Germany) is having his/her baby today! What's her/his name  
Gilbert, after his awesome uncle. (Germany lost a bet.)

* * *

8 (Spain) is a pervert. He's/she's coming right at you. What do you do?  
Scream, "France is after Romano again!" Then run like hell when he turns around.

* * *

9 (Romano) is going through a tough break up. How do you cheer him/her up?  
Sit and talk crap about the loser until he feels better. Then we go out to dinner and quietly make fun of other people in the restaurant.

* * *

10 (Sealand) broke up with 9 (Romano). What do you do?  
Celebrate. Talk about your crack pairings, geez.

* * *

Have you ever read a Six/Nine fic?  
Feliciano/Lovino? Why yes, yes I have. Some were sweet, some were angsty, and some were downright scarring to my mental state. *shudder*

* * *

Do you think Four (France) is hot? How hot?  
Me: Sadly, yes. He is the country of love after all, and I would honestly consider dating him if he could rein himself in a little.

Francis: Really? *smirks suggestively*

Me: ACK! Who let him hear that?

* * *

What would happen if Eight (Spain) got Ten (FemSealand) pregnant?.  
England would come after him with black magic and it would be proven once again that Antonio is a bit of a pedo.

* * *

Would Two (England) and Six (N. Italy) make a good couple?  
No. Just…no.

* * *

Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?  
Hungary/Romano

Sealand's too young, and I think that Hungary is intimidating enough to both handle and protect Lovi.

* * *

What would happen if Seven (Germany) walked in on Two (England) and Ten (Sealand) having sex?  
He would turn redder than Italy's pasta sauce and make a hasty tactical retreat before the other two even noticed he was there.

* * *

Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic  
America/Sealand: I see this being more brotherly than romantic.

Alfred watched the little sea fort desperately trying to get attention. He reminded Alfred of himself at that age. Then a thought struck him: If England was Sealand's big brother, didn't that make America his big brother too? Maybe he should get to know the kid after all.

* * *

Is there any such thing as 2/8 fluff?  
England/Spain

Actually, yes. I've read it and think it actually works when done well.

* * *

Suggest a title for a Seven/Ten hurt/comfort fic.  
Germany/Sealand

Idk, gimme a minute….

They both have difficult older brothers, sooo….

Big Brothers Aren't So Bad

* * *

If you wrote a Song-fic about one (Canada), what song would you choose?  
"Anything But Ordinary" by Avril Lavigne. I would find a way to make it work.

* * *

If you wrote a One/Six/Ten fic, what would the warning be?  
Canada/Italy/Sealand

Crack Ahoy! And much Iggy bashing.

* * *

When was the last time you read a fic about Five (Hungary)?

Oh wow, a while ago. I've read a few where she's a supporting cast member, but not one that was about her, per se.

* * *

"1(Canada) and 6(N. Italy) are in a happy relationship until 6(Italy) runs off with 9(Romano). 1(Canada), broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with 8(Spain) and a brief unhappy affair with 5(Hungary), then follows the wise advice of 2(Arthur) and finds true love with 10(Sealand). "  
…What?

* * *

What title would you give this fic?

Canada's Crazy Adventure

Or

Why Matthew needs to lay off the maple before bed.

**AN: And that's the end. Poor replacement for a chapter, I know, but I had to get something up.**


End file.
